It’s not secrets. Its life lessons which no one told you about. First question- Are you really happy? Second question- Why aren’t you? When the first question went through your mind, you must have thought about a few troubles in your life and then you must have gone like “Hey, it could have been worse but life’s good.” You have reconciled your life and you are perfectly alright with being discontent. So here are a few secrets that will help you along.

Secret number one

Let the past remain in the past. Don’t bring up the past and the matters that trouble you from the past. Learn to make peace with it and move on. Let it be there, and be the person who walks away from all that. You don’t need that extra baggage on your shoulders. Our past shapes us into the kind of person we are today and it also has the power to change us into a bitter person. If you’re not happy with yourself, the way you have turned out to be, change it for the better. The past has the power to change us, but only if we give it the choice to.

Secret number two

We always have a choice. You may feel that oh no, I couldn’t help it, I just had to do it. No. No, you didn’t have to do it. You always have a choice. If you don’t feel like going out with your friends, but you’re just going for the sake of it, call in for a rain check and make another plan when you can meet them and when you feel like it. You want to do something and your partner wants to do something else? Reach out on a compromise.

Secret number three

Small things matter. Don’t be rude or pass snide comments to people you know or don’t know. It can destroy a person's mood or day. If someone makes it point to spoil your day or mood with those little passive-aggressive comments and the outright rude remarks, have a talk with them. If they continue to do it, then you can’t do much other than ignore them because they aren’t worth the jail sentence. You can make someone’s day by just appreciating how they look, or even appreciating their actions. In turn, seeing their happiness will make you happy too.

Secret number four

Your happiness matters. It does. It’s absolutely okay to be selfish. In the end, it’s you and no one else. You have your own back and you can bring happiness to yourself. You have the power to make someone happy, why can’t it be you? Celebrate every small victory of yours. No matter how small, celebrate it. It’s yours, and yours only. You did that. Gift your self something. It could be anything, it could be a donut or pizza too.

Secret number five

Choose the positives of every situation. No matter how dire the situation seems, there’s always a positive side to it. A lesson learned; an experience gained. If the situation is really bad, then you have learned something new from it, and if another situation like that arises, you can always say that this can’t be as bad as that. Choosing to see the positives of the situation also exposes you to less negativity and helps you to stay happy.

Secret number six

Your work-life balance. You have a life outside work and remember that. Don’t lose yourself in work that you are so tired that you can’t even remember who you are or how you were before. If there isn’t a proper balance between the two, it will also start affecting your friendships and relationships. To lose people that are close to you because you were too busy is not something that you would want. No one wants that.

Secret number seven

Choose your relationships wisely. You don’t need to invest your time and energy in relationships that drain you, and the ones that don’t grow into something meaningful. The time that’s wasted can never come back. Relationships and friendships that only take from you and don’t give you anything I’m return, not even happiness, are like weeds that need to pull out thrown away. The ones that grow along with you and help you grow into a better person, and you know that they will have your back no matter what, they are the ones you should invest your time, energy, and love in.

Secret number eight

Stop overthinking about things that can’t be helped or changed. Overthinking is not going to make things better nor is it going to change things. The only thing that it’s going to change is the number of grey hair on your head. Take a deep breath and clear your head. Take a nap. Calm your nerves down and do something that calms you.

Secret number nine

Less screen time. Download an app which monitors your screen time. You’ll be shocked by the number of hours you spend on your phone. Consciously detach yourself from the phone. Read more books, exercise or even cook. Take the much-deserved nap. As long as you’re not glued on your phone, sometimes even scrolling through social media and wishing with envy that was you, that is just going to bring you down and it’s negative. No one shows the downs on social media. No one shows their true struggles and obstacles. They only show the happy part which the choose to show you.

Secret number ten

Expectations. Stop having high expectations from others. That’s just going to disappoint you and bring you down. People don’t live up to your expectations. And that’s okay. You can’t expect someone to do something because that’s them. They’re different from you. You cannot expect them to do things the way you want just to make you happy. That’s not fair to you or to them. They can do things the way they want, and that’s okay as well. Just like how you do things that way you want.  Let them be.