The Art of ‘Letting Go’- 8 steps towards the Self-Recovery Journey

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” -Anne Landers

There’s always a part of our life that we cannot control, no matter how hard we try controlling it. We have to let go of things at certain points of time. Whether it is your favorite toy, dress, pet, or person- we are always closing one chapter and opening another. We always live under the illusion that everything is under our control and it becomes hard to control the unpredictability of life

We, as human beings, tend to stick to our past and grieve over it. Holding on to the past and focusing on how ideally things “used to be” becomes our tendency and ultimately cause more suffering. We hold onto things which used to give us happiness at one point in time. We get emotionally attached to things and slowly it becomes a burden.

It feels like you have been trying constantly, invested so much only to be left alone. Toxic thoughts make space in the mind and all you can think of how vulnerable you have become at that particular moment. You don’t get space to grow because you are too engrossed with the pain of getting ‘stuck’ in one place. But this can’t be the solution. We need to find the balance between grieving and at the same time moving forward.

With all the chaos happening around you, it becomes even more important to protect your mental sanity and not lose yourself in the dark pot. Losing yourself for someone who’s never going to come back is not an ideal option.

| Over a while, I have learned that you can never let go of people you have loved once. You can only accept the fact that they are no closer to you and the thing which is under your control is your reaction to the situation and not the entire situation!

Acceptance is powerful. It gives you the strength to bring peace to yourself than sulking your heart and making situations heavier to survive.

Benefits of being at ‘Zero’ again

When you let go of things, you get a chance to begin from zero again. You have pure freedom and the best part is you are not an amateur person now. The strength that you will gain through accepting things and moving on will make you a mature human being and ultimately brings a significant amount of change in your behavior and attitude.

The old life that you had wasn’t satisfying you enough and the risk that you have taken by understanding the importance of accepting things will help you leap in your life. Now you know what is best for you and you won’t find yourself compromising at it again!

I remember Paulo Coelho talking about how life will open up so many opportunities for you, once you accept the fact that you are no less than a strong warrior who knows how to jump back and stand again. While mentioning about letting things go he echoes, “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.”

How to Master the Art of Letting Go

“You just need to learn the art of Self-love to recover yourself from the pain”

I have heard this a million times and the placement of words just makes it look even easier. But that’s not how things work. It is not as simple as it looks.

Things have their own pace and you can enjoy them only when you let them grow in their way. Once you will make the move and distance yourself from things that were once holding you back, you will start realizing how things are getting better. It might take time and that’s okay.

There will be a time when you see several dots connecting things to the past and try to take you back but you don’t have to follow that path, no matter how hard things become. Once you have decided to outgrow things, That’s it! There’s no looking back.

We cannot control things, but we can control how we react to them. These 8 steps will surely help you in your journey and take you a step closer to your ultimate destination- Self Recovery.

Cut off

Before doing anything, cutting off the person that has love is essential. You need to separate your emotional, mental, and psychological energies from them. This will be your first step towards your journey of self-recovery. Remember, we don’t have to stick to the things, right?

Cry, when you need to.

You have thousands of memories together. There are several places that you have visited with them. You might be going to those places again and there's a sudden rush of emotions in you and you felt a strong urge to cry. Don’t force your body and let out your emotions. Your body needs to grieve and give that time to it and allow yourself to come up when YOU want to not when OTHERS want you to.

Focus on what you are gaining

When things go wrong, it becomes easy to blame yourself and then guilt trip happens. It is high time you need to recognize that it is not because of you. Stop blaming yourself for every worse condition and start being easy on yourself. We all make mistakes and we all learn from them.

Do not get into another relationship

This is not a solution! Using someone else to get over someone else is the worst decision you would ever take. You will again end up investing too much emotion and get nothing out of it. Give yourself space and keep your ego aside because there’s no space for ego in the self-healing process. Enjoy your own company and do what makes you happy.

Bit of self-care doesn’t harm!

Indulge in reading books, Do yoga, practice meditation, or watch your favorite rom-com. When you are learning to let go, you need to keep yourself busy with other things. Make some time for yourself. Treat yourself with those pending spa sessions and long drives to the outskirts of the city. Even if lying in your bed gives you comfort, try that but don’t forget the purpose of doing all of this.

Express yourself through writing

We have often noticed that people become quiet and stop expressing their feelings in public. They fear that they will become vulnerable again. Writing, at this time, becomes a perfect therapy. When you fail to express your emotions to people, write it down in your journal as if you are talking to yourself. It will help you vent out. After all, who's a better consultant for you than you!

Get plenty of support

We all have certain people in our lives who make things easy only with their presence. Get a lot of support. Doing the self- recovery process in isolation will make the process much harder for you. Stay connected with your people and get a timely reality check from them.

Get professional help, if required.

Sometimes things become worse and situations go out of control. Instead of trying to mend things by yourself try to seek professional help. Therapy is a personal journey that will make the process of self-recovery easier for you. Do not shy about asking for help.
There’s nothing such as forever. People will leave when they have to. You cannot force them to stay. Life is all about the moment you are living in now. You cannot change what has happened neither you can control what is going to happen.  Life is a journey when one day becomes difficult, the other day brings sunshine too and you just have to grab that moment and make the most out of that. Because, in the end, it is you who matter!